Goodbye 2009!!

This has been one hell of a year. Everything that could go wrong almost did and us Brown Folks were left  in a vortex of confusion, senselessness and damn near poverty. One day you're moving along and everything is honky dory then Kaboom! It all blows up.  In this year alone close friends passed away (Jeri,Ted & Michael), Alexander took an extended break from college (although he was so close to finishing), Bob lost his job and MS has made my days difficult. My money was funny and change strange. I fought with everything I had to keep us normal and sane. Some days I did okay other I fail, miserably. So after struggling to just keep going I stopped. I just stop trying to correct all the problems and decided to allow things to be. All I can think of is the old black saying of…"it’s all good". Even as things were falling apart and I was about to lose all that I worked for all my life I felt the promise of 2010 coming. So now I am looking forward to Twenty-Ten. My soul tells me everything will turn all right. We did all the preliminaries to get ready for Twenty Ten  like cleaned the house, put our grapes & champagne (actually sparkling apple cider) in the fridge, showered and took out our good red underwear and are on our way to celebrate a rough year ending and new one coming our way. Already it holds promise: Bob has choices of which company to work for (he has an excellent resume), and already doing several interviews that are promising (So we might in up in the Mid-West) Alexander must be tired of our constant pissed off pleading lectures because he is now full steam with the attitude of going back to school and getting a paying job. Adam is in his place calling on a regular basis. I am determine to find a way to live with this crazy disease and still do the things I love to do. I do have to say that this year has humbled me and my family greatly and maybe that was the point. I just wish it didn’t take so long. So as we count out our 12 grapes and wait for the clock to click down and the fireworks to shoot out of the Space Needle, I have to say Thanks for leaving 2009 and shout hooray its over!

Our House in the Middle of the Street.

It’s a beautiful day in sunny Seattle today. Bright blue sky yellow sun hitting the autumn leaves just so that one would think its part summer with a cool breeze. California weather. Perfect for a Tuesday after Thanksgiving. Makes you smile and just be happy that your alive and well enough to go outside and breathe. Reminds me of 41st Street. Growing up on 41st Street meant that you were a part of larger extended family that included folks from across the street to around the corner. They were just as likely to sit next to at the dinner table as you were to watch their television with them. We were all different ethnicities and nationalities, but we were family. Our house sits in the middle of the street, the Means’s were across the street. There are the Gutierrez and Kim across from them, while the Clausen’s were at the beginning of the street. There were the older folks who were constantly on the lookout for our comings and goings. People who would Mom in a heartbeat if they thought you were doing something suspicious or dangerous (what we considered fun). We had Vera, our most beloved play auntie and nosey Mr. Flory who would tell if you farted while skating pass the church, but grew the best vegetables. There was the Maxwell’s who were so kind and unselfish they would purchased dresses for me and take me to some of the black society social events. There was the Craig’s on the corner where Mrs. Craig taught me to sew, knit and crochet and Mr. Craig would give Mom pheasants he hunted. The Moore’s whose grass I watered when they went on vacation and in return she gave me Harlem Renaissance books, which I still adore. There were Cuba’s, Patterson’s, Mrs. Trig, Ms. Potts, Coventons, the Hales, Judy’s family (with those bad assed twins), and the Nun’s (who Mom would eventually cook for), even Miss America who would pose in underwear at her front door for my brothers. There was even a honorary 41st Street member that really live across town in Greenhaven (much love Brother James). This was our block as I knew it. We ran with anyone who was around and we kept up with their activities. When someone did something we all knew what when and why. Usually because one of us was involved also. Amazing as we grew up, moving away and starting our own family the bond was still there. It just grew more intense. As if the separation made desire the childhood safety of know what was happening next. We knew that Saturday was set aside for chores and Soul Train. That Friday was date night and sneaking out (I know I was not the only one!). We knew that on Monday someone on the block was giving me a ride to school (Thanks Paul!). And if we needed a broom or mop or a cup of sugar we could ask the Means’s or always ask Kim if she would walk with us to Compton’s Market. That safety of neighborhood family was sometimes the only thing that made us sane. We shared whoppin’s, ice cream truck treats, Howard's daily barbequing dogs, vacuums, football in the street, music, Baby Thug’s adventures, clothes and General Hospital every afternoon. There was events that only us 41st’ers would understand how crazy life was: Howard’s body cast, Jimmy shooting at cars as James drove by, every marriage and divorce, unwed pregnancies and child raising, Kenny’s illness and eventual death. We did all together. Everyone in everyone’s business; laughing, gossiping, crying, fighting, praying and mostly loving because we shared something greater than us. We shared a block that would forever shape our decisions and attitudes. That was the block. Our block. One I thank God for allowing me to be a part of. Praying much for my block sister Jackie.

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Ain’t No Brother Like The One I Got!!

 

People assume that love is defined by what others say it is. That love is whatever romantic thing is happening in the movies or on TV. Worse some love song sung by some sappy person singing about unrequited love. Harlequin romance book on the grocery store counter.   My parents never really showed us what or how to love another person. Not even each other. It was just the thought that we were family that was all we needed to know. Yet when some of my siblings are out there doing crazy things, such as getting high and crying in the front yard begging to be let in I wonder is it love that keeps him out or love that won’t let him in? I am confused. My mother announced for the umpteenth time that she would have never been with my father if she wasn’t drunk. Great. Was is love that made me a drunken baby? What of those three brothers before and two sisters after me? Were we all drunken babies? I wonder. More to the point how is it that I still have a thing for Bob? We celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary last Thursday. After all these years I still like this dude. Even through he can be all manly sometimes and “rule” over his “kingdom”, I am still here. Amazing. I never really thought I would be with, let alone friends, with anyone this long. But he is my oldest friend. And that is what it is about. We cannot define it by some standard in some book or religious thought. I do not bow down to Bob (or anyone) nor does he bow down to me. We cannot go by what my folks say or his folks think. Yeah, we bicker sometimes, like when he can’t find me and I don’t want to be found (stop chasing me!) or I am not feeling well but still want to run around (I’m scared to be lazy). I know that sometimes, I am hard to live with especially when my inner Willis or Peggy comes through, but, Bob is still here. Amazing in and of itself, cause I would have left my ass a long time ago. But we share our world everyday inside and out, parenting, playing, lounging, running around, talking politics and literature and just being plain silly because we want to. Not because of anything else. Not because someone thinks we should either. And although our wedding date is never celebrated and hardly remembered (unlike our 1st date, which is week long celebration) it deserves to be mentioned. So for the non-date where I almost made it to  Molly Moons ice cream  and Whole Foods but ended up driving through downtown following the bus Bob rides home every night. “Just in case you was wondering where I catch the bus, dear”. I wasn’t. I should mention here that along with carnies, I am really don’t care about bus people or their rides.  So of course his joy over knowing where his bus stops and where the bus markers were located was purely unappreciated by me. We ended up at Marie Callender’s.  Hurray for pie! We were able to come back home, have some tea, had a slice of pie and fall to sleep on the couch. I really do like this guy. I have to say that although we didn’t celebrate the traditional way with flowers, dinner and gifts, I was glad that we had some time to just to be. Besides the next day he did treat me to Costco food court. :) I am such a cheap date! So…Thanks Honey, for the last 21 years. But for our other anniversary I want dinner! I still diggin’ you, like old soul record!

 

Holy Crap!!!

I am so happy this is not us 608er’s!!! I cannot imagine having 298 nephews and nieces running around. As it stands now I cannot keep with the 38 or 39 (guessing?) that exist now…but 300? That a hella lot more than anyone should have. Then my two really would be assed out. Thank god we all (except Glen) knew when to stop having kids. Hopefully so will our children. http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2009822685_grandma08.html

Bumbershoot 2009

Bumbershoot 2009 was real cool this year. Although the weather was rainy, windy and mostly cold, Bob & I had a ball. We saw some fun acts like Natalie Portman Shaved Head and The Whore Moans. Both acts were immensely entertaining and fun! I love the bands from the Northwest! We also saw some big acts like De La Soul, Roy Ayers and Ralphel Saadiq. I was also able to hear Melvin Van Peebles speak and see the trailer of his latest film Confessions of a Ex-Doofus-ItchyFooted Mutha. All in all, we had a good time even if we were freezing in the Northwest weather. Can’t wait until next year!

The Whore Moans – Bumbershoot 2009

De La Soul – Bumbershoot 2009

 

Mr. Roy Ayers – Bumbershoot 2009

Raphael Saadiq – Bumbershoot 2009

A Sacramento Visit

I love being an aunt. I get to do all the fun stuff without the complications of having to say no.So when Trish and Eden came up for a week at the end of August I was ready for them both. Preparing for a 2 year old was challenging, as I had forgotten how much babies need around them to keep them happy. I was pretty successful I must say. I pick up some coloring books and crayons, Bob books, play necklaces, chapsticks and flashcards. All of Eden’s favorite things. I found some bath toys which included Crayons for the bath. That was exciting for her as all she wanted to do everyday was color in the tub. We also bubbles on the balcony, to which I was schooled on the beauty of bubble machines! I have such plans for the one they left!

The best part was taking them to see the Seattle Troll, going to zoo to look for lions, tigers and penguins. At the Komodo dragon display, Eden found a new friend and almost forgot she was there with family! 

We took her to Greenlake to play at playground and to the Children’s Museum, which was fun for me because I never even knew this place existed.

 

I planned some adult friendly adventures also which included Pike’s Place and Freemont Coffee House. Trish also convinced Bob to make cookies and take her running. In the end they both had such a good time they are plotting and planning their next trip. I must say I am definitely looking forward to playing with someone so small again. Thanks sister!!! Oh yeah…I am still planning to drive around Seattle ,in the pretty flower car, top down with bubbles blowing all around!

The Blue Angels in Seattle

It starts with my dad waking us up early on a Saturday morning with instructions to be ready in an hour. We would be somewhat groggy but excited about the day planned ahead. Peggy would have packed us a cooler filled with fried chicken, cookies, sandwiches and sodas for the long day. We would all pile in the station wagon (the kind with side panels) and off we go to current air show. We would arrive and pile out onto the hot tarmac and head towards the hangers where we would look at all the planes on display. Willis and my brothers would go over all the details of the various planes as I listened intently. Willis didn’t think girls would or should be interested in such things so I was left to entertain Chris. usually that meant that I would have to hold her hand and keep her in control of whatever she thought she was doing. Sometimes all of us would be able to sit in the cockpit and Willis would take our picture as we “flew the plane”. Then it was time for the actual air show with the little and slower planes first. Then the Blue Angels or Thunderbirds would perform. They were the highlight of the show: loud, fast and fabulous. We would squeal with delight at watching those planes go upside down at full speed or when they slow down to almost stop in mid-air. After the show we would stand in line and get autographs and pictures with the pilots. We always had a full day and we would all be talkative during the ride home. I always looked forward to the next one, although Willis would not want to us girls thinking that we were too much trouble and didn’t really enjoy the day. Now that I am older I realize how much of those days are still in me. I forced Bob out of the house when the Blue Angels fly into town and we sit on Alki Beach to watch them fly through the city. The next day we are on a hill off of Rainier Blvd. watching them practice. Thanks Pop for unknowingly giving the love of airplanes!

WTF Seattle!!!

TWO DAYS of record temperatures makes me forget I actually moved away from Sacramento! This is not what we were told about the Pacific Northwest. After experiencing a blizzard last Christmas..now we have this..

The temperature gauge in my car reads 107 on Wednesday!!!

Today was another record high of a balmy 94 degrees. I feel mislead about the rain.  It was suppose to be only rain. But instead, we have experienced two extreme conditions of winter and summer. Bob solution to all this heat?

 

Find shade and nap. Thanks Honey!

Family Reunion

Went home for the 4th of July. The 608ers decided to have a impromptu family reunion at McKinley Park. We drove. I was having a MS attack but we decided to go anyway. The drive there was spectacular as the mountain ranges we pass were filled with green and clean air. The ride itself took about 11 hours with several stops. We arrived at  608 in the evening after Peggy’s bedtime, but she was happy enough to see us to get out of bed and hang out with for about an hour. The next morning was filled with the hustle and bustle of preparations of barbeque and family gossip. The usual fires were burning within the family; somebody forgot chairs so Angie had to pick some up; someone forgot coals and lighter fluid so we had to pick those up also…wait a minute we have some in someone car and so on. Normally we would fight cuss and argue about every little thing we could find. From who left the light on in the bathroom to who told that we were smoking on the roof. Fighting become the determining factor of those who are independent and those who weren’t. It set the course of those us who would leave early and those who lingered. Those who would ask nothing and those who would ask much. Oddly there was no arguments or even discussions. Surprisingly, there wasn’t the bickering that usually happens in large families. This time, there wasn’t any thing unexpected. No one even flinched when our running-from-police-and-gangsters nephew showed up looking tired but fly. No one said anything about nieces we haven’t seen in while or the ones who were missing. (Where was that San Diegoan)? Of course, that one sibling did not bring anything to the picnic except extra people and her plead for money from Peggy. I often wonder if we should make her a cardboard sign to carry her around. “Will beg Mom for everything”. Yeah, she has a good state job, but still, she begs for everything a normal of earth would take care of if one had a job. but then again Peggy’s kids are never normal. But as I quoted throughout the day “Don’t expect anything and you won’t be disappointed”. I was not disappointed. The best was seeing Bill and Tony in the same spot at one time. One a man of the cloth one a man of the street. Both big brothers. I cannot say which I respect more. Bill cause he has always been there when we needed muscle or a quick response for a situation. Tony, who I barely know, I respect because of the cloth he carries and his children are some of my favorite people on earth. Willis and Peggy managed to be cordial to each other for once. They even sat by each other and ate. Mom sat under a tree and waited for everyone to come to her, while Willis was everywhere. We ended with Andrade Family Reunion t-shirts (that will soon be decorative pillows on my couch) and my suddenly missing purse being found. There were only two of us missing; one not invited because of his foolishness and the other invited but foolish enough not to show up. It was anti-climatic. There wasn’t any 608er drama going on. It was quiet and weirdly calm. I almost miss the chaos of our younger selves, when we was full of anger and disappointment. Willing and ready to fight each other for the slightest offense. But I said almost. Now we are all older and time has a way to calm even the most passionate ones. Peggy’s kids have never gotten along so well. I have to say…I am very proud of us….we made it through the day.

 

Thriller In the Northwest!!!

I love Michael Jackson! I have to admit to my Michael affection since I was little and saw him on Cher. I always loved the Jackson 5 and especially Michael. I also love Seattle. My new adopted home town is marvelous! I never want to leave! This is one reason why! Check out this video from LAST NIGHT in Bellingham (a subrub of Seattle) Only Seattlites would be this creative so quickly!!!

Seattle Impromptu Michael Jackson Tribute

608 Ghost

The thing about living at 608 is that one has to come to terms with the scary things that live there. Namely the ghost. If you ever have a chance to stay the night, someone there will start your night off telling a good ghost story or two. Most of the stories are true and told with many different versions, depending on who is telling them. Every now and then one hears a ghost story that involves Peggy. The latest was the angel music boxes.  Mom said she was sitting in her favorite chair in the living room watching television. Trish and Eden was upstairs. Willis was gone on his usual jaunt to Home Depot. She suddenly heard music coming from behind her. Thinking this was unusual for the show she was watching she muted the television. Still music was playing somewhere. She got up and followed the sound to the trio of wind up angel music boxes. No reason for that to be going off by itself and no one wind up those angels in a million months. OK…..

The same week Willis, while fast asleep for his usual afternoon nap, woke up, looked at Peggy and shook his head, then went back to sleep, only to wake up again, look at Peggy, shake his head and go back to sleep. The third time he woke up he asked Peggy, “Did you see that woman walk out the front door”? Mom answers, “What woman”? “The one who just walked out the door”? “What did she look like?” “She had a black hat with a black flower dress and a purse. She was a big lady. She reminded me of my mother”. “I didn’t see no woman. But you should go home and see your mother”.

Later on that week Peggy and Willis was eating dinner. The house was quiet except the television, which was loud because they both swear they cannot hear. Those same angels started playing the music again, spinning around. This time even Willis was concerned, a miracle cause Willis never gets bothered by ghost. Mom gets up and tells the “ghost” to stop it. The angels stop playing.

A day later, Eden, who is learning to be as busy as a two year should be, decided to play with those same angels. I assume no one was too concerned as she broke two of angels and tried to blame it on Minha (her name for Peggy).

Since these events Mom claims to have a shadow following her and in her words “I must start giving my things away before I die. That is was Barb did and I feel I must also”.  Willis, who is currently not speaking to his siblings for whatever reason, is looking for tickets to get to Virginia where his mother lives, just in case.

Its Been A Long Time

I haven’t posted in awhile. The reason varies and really are not important. But since April a lot has been going on with my folks and Robert’s. I have learned in my 44 years that life doesn’t stop even when you do. I once was of the school of thought that if I didn’t, who would. As in, if I didn’t clean the bathroom, who would or if I didn’t say I commit to an outing, who would? But I have been shut down for the best part of the last two months and I know that there are others who would clean the bathroom or attend an event. I no longer think I am the only one who would. I think the healing has begun with that thought. Now back to the postings.

Seize the Day!

April 27.

Back in 1983,I am laying on the floor in the South Carolina heat while watching MTV. Michael Jackson was beginning his reign and Prince was still basically unknown. But Angela would be laying next to me hoping I would not follow through on the order to wash her hair while her sister, Kristen, would be asleep in her crib. Ray would be looking for the light socket with a belt buckle while Twin would be out with his brother drinking. Tina, my sister, would be in her room reading some novel. Angela and I would get up and dance to New Edition singing Candy Girl. After we would make kool-aid and tease Ray. There was no Peggy screaming at me to cook dinner, no Willis hollering at me to clean up the kitchen. I even had time to make friends and hang out. Something I was never allowed to do while being in California.They were my saving grace, this southern household with folks who didn’t really want anything from me. It would be quiet and simple. I could just be a kid for once. This is the place I first fell in love with hip hop and I knew I would always be attached to rap in some form or another. This is were the poet in me became real. I am always am grateful that I had a sister who always took care of me. Even before I knew myself, I knew she was the one to go to for anything. She raised me from birth to age 11 and then again when I was 14. She is my first mother forever. So to that I say…Thanks Tina! and Happy Birthday!!! You know you Rock!!!

Why I Love Seattle!

Shilshore Bay Beach Monday. The temp hit somewhere around 70 and my my friend Alex Russell & I got some good writing in. Pretty day.

On Tuesday me & Bob checked out Queen Anne! The view here was just breathtaking!

Follow up

Record Store day was very productive as was the Friends of the Library book sale. This is everything purchased for the day. It was a perfect $30 day.

Saturday ToDo List

Today is Record Store Day. If you are out and about, visit your local independent record store and buy something and get free swag. It about celebrating music at the basic level and discovering local artist in your city. Also if you happen to live in Seattle, one of the best cities ever, the Friends of the Library Book Sale is today. All books are $1 or less. They also have cd’s and dvd’s and records. I will show off my loot later today when I get back. Meanwhile enjoy the video of my favorite Seattle band.

Dear God, Tell me I am not related to her!

My mother is racist. It is impossible for us to deny this any longer. See my niece, Francine, is getting married in few weeks at McKinley Park’s Rose Garden in Sacramento. It promises to be a lovely affair with my older brother, Tony, officiating and sister-in-law, Ana, singing. Now McKinley is within walking distance to my parents home and is one of most beautiful places in Sacramento. But Peggy refuses to go. Why one wonders? As she told me it was because it was going to be too hot and her bones hurt when it gets too hot. This must be some sort of new disease running in the family (see previous post). Then of course there is the fact that Peggy has favorite grandchildren and Francine does not qualify for that position. But the number one reason she decided she was not going is because Francine’s is half Mexican and the guy she is marrying is black and southern. This means, according to my mother, that there will be lots of drinking which will bring about violence and danger. Besides she does not condone mixed marriages because no good could come out of it and the marriage never last. Hhhhmmmm…Did I miss something? Last I checked her husband of 49 years is a southern black man and Peggy is of Portuguese. would that mean that we are no good and that when she was calling us “goddamned kids” she meant literally and not as a term of endearment as I always thought? And are not half of us married to Mexican. So does that mean that they are doomed and the children are no good? What about her favorites? Are they worse off because they are all half white? And of those that chose a black man to marry? What does that make us? And most importantly how did you get from a simple wedding to a danger zone? I mean really…I must ask God again…Are you sure I am not adopted?

Miracle On 41st Street

So I get this phone call from Sacramento telling me the latest news about my younger sibling. She was at the doctors and it seemed that she had an irregular breast exam. When I first heard this news, I wanted to question the validity of this. Not that I am a skeptic, just cautious when it comes to health news and my folks. So far if everything that one of us has reported to having we all would be in the Guinness World Records for the most heinous illnesses survived in one family ever. No one would be able to beat our record. But I did not question it too much cause somehow it sounded like a possibility. Not that I would wish for anyone to have such a disease, especially cancer, with its little known factor that basically spreads until it is cut off, literally. But as I have learned being in this family for the last 44 years, some of my folks have a pendency to stretch the truth and make a new desk at work a promotion to supervisor and make a common preventive breast exam into breast cancer. This really should not be a surprise to anyone associated with us 608er’s, but I feel again, that regular sucker punch when my infamous mother, Peggy, tells me how devastated she is cause her daughter is going through this horrible time in her life. I have been getting regular breast exams for the last 10 years on my birthday. I do this because I watched my mother-in-law, go through the process of losing both breasts followed by chemo with radiation. I am telling you it is not pretty nor easy. She did it with such dignity and humbleness it made me almost like her. But that itself taught me to honor this body I been given and check my girls regularly. So Peggy says that one of my siblings is going to be “watched” for the next year or so, I was stunned. What does this mean? I have so many questions, such as, does she have cancer? Was it lumps? How many? What kind of doctor did the test? What the hell is going on? I have never heard of the wait and see when suspected cancer is involved in someone under 70, but hell I am no doctor. Now less than a week later Peggy reports that this same sibling has stomach or bladder cancer. WOW! Now the cancer has left the breast and moved to the stomach! And the miracle is she does not have to spend one day in the hospital! She must have a powerful healing properties or she is the greatest storyteller ever and I am wasting my time with writing. My belief is, as a person with a unpredictable disease, life is hard enough without trying to make folks feel sorry for you because you have some catastrophic catastrophe (which really only happens if you happen to be a cartoon character). Maybe I am wrong, I should pray for those who need help, but I dislike being used and more over I don’t like praying needlessly for something that is not remotely the truth. I do hope that all is well with with my sibling. I hope that her world is filled with peace and joy. But I also hope that when we are in our 70’s and our days are limited to months rather than years, that we don’t have wonder if she ever lived a day with the truth.That in itself would be a miracle on 41st street. The miracle of truth.

Evening Sun

Its Thursday and I am suffering from cabin fever. the last day I was outside was Sunday for Emerald City Comic Con and even that was inside a building. There were two days of gorgeous weather with the sun shining so bright we Seattlites nearly lost our minds. But I was stuck in bed with a MS flare-up  that is technically still going on. After sitting in the house watching the clouds gather for their celebration of rain I noticed that it was almost 7 in the evening. It is Spring! In the Northwest that means almost 15 hours of daylight. Yes The sun comes up at about 4am and sets at about 10pm or later. I’ll have more hours of outdoor activities! Yippee!!! I can go hiking in the mountains or city nature walks. Every merchant will stay opened later and best of all neighbors will start coming out to barbeque on the patios. there’ll be parties and hanging out again. I suddenly don’t mind being stuck anymore. Just knowing that there is much more of a day to enjoy. Check out our sun at 8pm.

Me, Christine & Paussle

She was the one thing that made us friends. Being seven and five the fact that we are sisters are not what tied us together just the imaginary friend one of us made up and the other adopted. Paussle.The chick who lived on welfare with her many kids and had a towel or sheet as hair. Sometimes she was tall and model thin others short and fat. Somehow her kids always cut into whatever conversation we were having and she always had a new boyfriend and another child with her. We loved her. After a while we Christine and I lost contact with Paussle. Christine discovering boys and makeup. Me doing housework and taking care of various nephews and nieces. There wasn’t much room for our imaginary friend. Life twist and turned as it is oft to do and now years later I have become this proud black hippie living in Seattle and Christine became Chris. As I put my latest batch of homemade yogurt in the fridge and juice up some fresh carrots and ginger, I wonder how Christine is doing. Hearing that she might have breast cancer is startling. We shared our childhood together for the most part and as teens, our destinies took different paths but Paussle was always there in the background. Constantly making us recognize each other as childhood friends. It is that variable that makes me pray she doesn’t have this horrible disease.  I do know what it is like to hear those words from the guy in the white lab coat saying that life is shorter than I once thought. But I chose to believe that MS is just a nuisance not a death sentence. Throughout my life I have watched some of my friends and family deal with breast cancer like I never ever wanted to. Some died (Hazel Porter), others survived and have been living for quite a while (Dee Brown, Martha McQuillion). All are important as that those childhood girl dreams. I am praying for my sister mightily I only hope she finally makes the right steps towards good health and healthy choices. 

Those Old People

My mother sabbatical of not speaking to Willis was temporarily put on hold. My father brought her a new refrigerator for their 49th anniversary and for two weeks she was speaking to him again. Hoping against all hope that Willis might have learned his lesson and continues to buy her things, I was sadden to hear that she stop talking to him again. But then after 49 years and he still doesn't get it then he deserves every bit of Peggy's fury. But for two weeks Willis was being spoken to and Peggy bragged about a fridge. After years of praying for their divorce and hoping Willis would not come home from work, I cannot help but think that if all it took was some big appliance to get them to get along then why the hell was our childhoods so bad? But then those couple of weeks passes and the refrigerator appeal ends and Willis decides to cut cable. This should not be a problem, but Peggy’s life evolves around time. So much so that all her children can tell what she is doing at any given time during the day. We all know that bath water is running at 6am on the dot and that by 7:30pm Peggy would be in bed falling to sleep, lights are out by nine. Clockwork. One can also know what they are watching at any given time. Willis watches the History Channel, Military Channel and Science Channel. Peggy watches CBS, soap operas and court show and in the evening, game shows. So with limited channels to choose from Peggy is upset and decides speaking to him is not worth is again. So Willis gets the silent treatment again and Peggy sits again in her favorite chair watching the drama of her soap operas. Smirking.

Happy Birthday, Kristen!!!

Why I Must Stop Web-surfing!

My very demented son, Adam, sent this to me the other day and I feel it is my duty to share this with you…

Happy Birthday Angela!!!!

For my niece on her St. Patrick's Birthday!!! You know you are one of the best ever!!
Love you girl!!

Happy Birthday ME!

For the first time in my life, it will snow on my Birthday. Usually I get rain. Then for about 5 years the most perfect sun. Brilliant and everlastingly warm. One great day. This year snow. Damn it must be God's sense of humor. But all is not lost because this was one of my favorite birthday's ever. All weekend I got to hang out with my honey and enjoy this city we live in. We joined both the Seattle Arts Museum and Experience Music Project  while having our last sugar rush for the next 3 months (we are giving up sugar). Best of all there was no MS to slow us down or that we could not handle. I will drink a toast to Sid Sweptson, Tony's father, and Barbara Millicent Roberts, better known as Barbie, whose birthdays is also today. Although I am a die hard Tupac fan, I will drink one in remembrance of Biggie Small, as today is the day he was murdered. Right on me and the day of my birth!

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49 Years and Still Pissed!!

It is my parents 49th wedding Anniversary today. Although Peggy New Year Resolution is to not to speak to Willis for a year and Willis bags are metaphorically constantly packed they are celebrating this 49th year by the same silliness that put them together in the first place. I have this saying that we were each conceived somewhere between Goddamn and Oh Yeah during Sunday mornings make up session after the Friday night fights and Saturday recovery afternoons. Today, I am sure, they expect each of the children to call and congratulate them on their achievement and listen to each of them in turn complain about what an awful spouse the other is. My mother will complain about Willis being the perpetual asshole and jackass he has always been and Willis complain about how mean and evil Peggy is. This roller coaster of lets-stay-together-damnation that my parents formed 50 years ago has been much discussed and prayed about longer than I been alive. And as much and often as I, myself, prayed for them to divorce and be done with it, they have managed walk that fine line of seething hatred and love. Although Peggy will tell anyone who will listen that she never loved Willis, she will every single day make Willis' dinner complete with his favorite yams and ice water, except on Saturday because that is her day off. Willis, in turn, will complain about Peggy not speaking to him and how many times has he threaten to leave only to never really go anywhere outside of Home Depot and Costco, constantly bringing flowers or fish that only Peggy likes. Somewhere in all this those two not only managed to stay together but have surpassed that fine line of old people who been together so long they look alike. Both are now slightly hunched over and have the same aches and grouchiness. While talking to Willis last week for his Birthday he complained about how no one said anything to him about his birthday at same time telling me about who brought what that day. I f that isn't a Peggy thing I really don't know what is. Peggy, later, explained how to fix a knob on a cabinet, usually a Willis thing. I know now that they will always fuss, fight and argue but they will be together to the bitter end.So Happy Anniversary Parents. Knock yourself out....Please!!

Dancing with Mom

My father is sick. His tests came back positive for prostate cancer. The doctors decided to do nothing. One because the cancer hasn't grown in three years and two because he is seventy and they only expect him to live another 10. Maybe. So they are not going to do a thing. Ok I can accept this. No biggie. So I called to see how he is but Peggy answer instead. Dammit. So I go though the usual talk about how much the worse the weather in sunny Sacramento is compared to snowy Seattle, I ask to speak to Wo-wa. Of course Mom wants to know why and when I state I was concerned about his health she asks why again since I never asked about her health. So I ask about her health and she states that right now she is fighting with the doctors at Kaiser Medical offices because, according to them, her heart is just fine. But she is convinced that she needs open heart surgery because she can not catch her breath. Never mind that 8 different doctors told her to lose weight because she too heavy for her small frame but she insist its her heart. So chance she gets, she goes and gets a EKG for $400 and believes one day soon a brilliant doctor will come and declare her dead and she can celebrate her “I told you so” attitude in casket with her very ungrateful children surrounding her.

Since Mom spent her whole life trying to catch some disease or break a bone, literary would be a miracle that it never happened. If anyone else is sick or hurt in anyway she is definitely is too and always worse. A good example of this is when my sister Sheri had some kind of arthritis in her hip which cased her to limp a little.  Well once Peggy got an understanding that Sheri's hip was not up top par she started limping. Not slightly, but full blown limping as if she was in some horrible car accident that happened while the rest of us were asleep. I asked her why is she limping and she announces that her hip just gives out every now and then and it must be arthritis and when she went to the doctor’s to get is checked she was told she needed surgery to heal this condition. Then she left the room limping horrible on the opposite leg.

After about 20 minutes of this I am sicker than your father routine I ask again about Wo-wa and his health status. She states that it really isn't all that serious and that she hopes that he dies first and soon, as she wishes to get all of the money he has been hoarding her whole life, so she and her daughters can go shopping. Somehow I know the shopping part does not include me and as much as I hope my father has hidden money somewhere, I suspect he has a hidden family somewhere out there like all old men his age.

I hang up after 30 minutes, having not spoken to my father, as usual. I can only pray for his health.

Obama!! Baby!!!

Okay so I am 3 weeks late, but better late than never!!!!

A Day with My Mother

I was talking to my sister Tricia, the other day about living at 608. She was explaining the craziness that happens everyday, especially dealing with Mom. I counter with the what happened one day while visiting there about four years ago. I went back to Sacramento for my son's high school graduation. I had to stay at 608 to help with packing all of Adam's stuff.

On the third night home I fell down the stairs like a Jamaican bobsledder in 20 feet of snow without brakes. My skin was rug burned in several places along with open flesh wounds on my hands and arms. I was bruised pretty badly on my behind, legs, arms and face. I laughed while getting up and only Alexander checked to make sure I was fine. When I go into the kitchen ask for Band-Aids my mother asked why. I tell her what happened and wondered if she heard it. She says no and says that she falls down those stairs all the time which is why she has never been upstairs in 4 years. I rolled my eyes wondering how the hell she keeps falling down the stairs if she never goes up them? So I went for a walk hoping to feel better but instead ended up very weak. My knee starts to swells and eventually gives out forcing me to forgo my walk. My face and arm goes into the sleep mode, fading in and out and prickly. I realized that my usual clumsiness has decided to show itself on this particular day, which explains the stair slide earlier in the day. It is only 8am, and I have time to kill, but I decide to head back home to shower and relax for the rest of the day.

As soon as I get there, my mother announces she needs to go to Auntie Barb’s to drop some things off. She has to go today because she already promised she would and Auntie Barb is waiting, but she cannot go until after 11am because Auntie Barb does not get up until then. I have no idea how come Auntie Barb called her before 11 while still asleep. Maybe they have some kind of witchcraft sleeping communication thing going on. I really don't know, I just want to lay back down but instead, I take a shower and get ready for Auntie Barb’s and painfully give up any thought of resting for the day.

My mother gathers things to put into the car and as we pile into the car Mom brings out several garbage bags full of clothes and whatnots then proceeds to have me grab two boxes of canned goods to put into the car. Visually limping and bruised my mother says I am over-exploiting my injuries and I should just “chill out".

At 10am my mother, with exorbitant joy she skips down the eight poach steps to the car. She loads the trunk with various plants and grocery’s she supposedly can ill afford to give away, but none-the-less, she continues to bring bag after bag of clothing and such to give to Auntie Barb. She jumps into the car as if she is 25 not 73 and smiles happily as I finally pull away from the curb.

Along the way she chit chats about various family members and comments on how great cousin Phyllis treat her mother Barb and how Phyllis daughter is just wonderful even through she gave her two kids to their grandmother and mother so she could party like its 1999. We head to her sister’s house as she continues her tirade of her ungrateful children who never pay her any attention or give her what she needs. Then tells me I need to make her an doctor's appointment before I leave so she can get checked again for heart failure. As I roll my eyes again, I wonder if there is anyway I can push her out of the car and get away with it.

I finally pull up to Auntie Barb’s house a full 20 minutes later and proceed to get out of the car pop the trunk and pull the various bags out. Now mind you I always disliked this aunt. She would call us "dirty little niggers" when I was child and she always thought she was better than my mother. But here we are bringing her groceries and clothes. Go figure.

Halfway up the driveway Auntie Barb opens the front door and says “Dede how is Seattle? I’ve always hated going there. I used to go every year to see my in-laws and found it too cold and rainy”. I say nothing. Instead, I turned to look for my mother whom I just knew was right behind me, she wasn’t. She was still in the car. I frowned and wondered what the hell she was doing. There was Mom, who only minutes ago skipped to get into the car hollering “Dede! Come help me I cannot get out of the car. You know my heart is bad”! I was momentarily confused, how did her heart get bad in 20 minutes in the sitting position? Did she have heart attack while I was driving and I just completely ignored her? Somehow, she miraculously managed to get out the car and very slowly walk up the sidewalk limping horribly, with a cane. Where in the hell did that cane come from? Damn! she sure is a good actress!

By the third unloading trip to the car, my mother managed to get inside Auntie Barb’s kitchen and start with the usual gab of who takes the most medicine and the best names of them. My mother pulls out her gallon sized freezer bag with a bunch of medicine bottles in them. She makes sure to show Auntie Barb each and every one of them and tells her what they are for. Barb shares all of hers while walking hunched over, back and forth in her tiny kitchen. I don't understand why she doesn't just sit if she is not feeling well, but whatever. They discuss who has the worse diseases and symptoms and why their various doctors are idiots. they both argue that their own diabetes is worse than the other. This discussion goes on for about 30 minutes then it on to the who has the worse children routine.

My mother never misses an opportunity to complain about how ungrateful her children are. She has 10 living children who are all neurotics and need professional counseling by the time we all got to be about 20 years old because she was always so unsatisfied. Auntie Barb fusses at me, the one daughter that always gives mother whatever and takes her wherever she wants about being nicer to my mother. Mind you they have all this energy to complain but not enough to stay well.

After the first hour of sheer boredom and neurosis to which I was called ungrateful and uncaring at least a million times, I received a welcome call from a sales representative on my cell phone. This gave me out to leave the house and go outside. After getting rid of the overzealous Sales rep I called my niece, Angela. I had to apologized for not listening to her about Grandma Peggy craziness while she was living there. My bad, I almost forgotten how my mother could be.

I forced myself to go back inside for more self-torture for another hour. Auntie Barb shoves six bags of varies clothing plants and can food towards my way to “Put these in the car for your mother because she really needs them” I could swear that this is the same exact stuff I took out of the earlier but ok.

After 40 minutes of goodbye and happiness at the thought of actually to being able to drop this mother of mine off she announces, “I need to stop off at Raley’s to pick up something for dinner”. It is now 2 o’clock and no one normal thinks of dinner at this time. But me the ungrateful daughter proceeds to prolong my journey to Raley’s.

I think of how I am going to get my mother out of the car this time. I wonder if she going to be pulling on my arm as I try to help her up out of the seat. By the time I get out of the car my mother is already in the store pulling out a shopping cart and looking at the pasties. I bravely walk into the store and push the cart allowing her to stick whatever she wants into the cart. Everything is sweet and dessert like and for the life of me I cannot figure out what happened to her diabetes she had earlier.

At the checkout counter my mother complains to anyone who will listen that her Mother’s Day will be bust because her ungrateful children will not be giving her a $100 each, so she will not be broke. What really pissed me off is that I was standing right next to her. Finally after loaded car and traffic we are back in the driveway of home and my mother bounds up the eight stairs into the house and sits in her favorite chair. I left alone to carry all the packages big and small into the house and set the table for dinner that we will eat precisely at 6:15 pm. It was 4 o’clock and Mom is eating pasties and smiling.

MLK Day

We shall overcome

We shall overcome

We shall overcome some day

Oh, deep in my heart

I do believe

We shall overcome some day.....

As we celebrate MLK's Birthday today don't forget to volunteer in your neighborhood as we were called to do by our newly elected President. I cannot think of better way to celebrate two historic events (MLK Day and Obama's inauguration). Meanwhile, check this out....

What the Hell, Oakland???

So on the first day of this year, in a Oakland Bart station, a young black man was shot and killed execution style by white Bart police officers while lying face down handcuffed. This hideous crime was caught on many cell phones and video cameras.This was bad enough, but those in charge and voted in by the people of Oakland, California, allow the officers involved to walk away and not answer any questions. The officer was not arrested until a week later, after the young man's funeral. Those in charge would not issue a statement of sympathy or apology to the family who attended a city council meeting following the lost of their son. This brought about anger in the community and community protest. Some of the protesters got out of hand but most were just trying to seek justice. What get me is the lack of those officials, who job is dependant upon votes and are sworn in to uphold the law, allowed this officer to walk away and then get angry when the young folks protest got out of hand. I wonder what Martin Luther King, Jr. would think this close to us celebrating his birthday. This is not overcoming a damn thing. As we are on our way to swearing in Obama on Tuesday I hope we remember we still have much work ahead. In the meanwhile...let us pray.

Dear God, Help!

Okay so my father is 70 and I can assume that he would have some medical problems. But when my this week my sister called to tell me that Wo-wa had to have a biopsy, I must admit, I am somewhat worried. While my father is not the most loving or even the most friendly father in the world, he is still the only one I got. I do try hard to understand the man. Sometimes more than others, but mainly I just try to stay out of his hair that way I won't have to deal with expectations he tries to enforce. The real reason for my worried state isn't because this is a cancer scare and that I have to deal with the eventual death of Wo-wa. Nor is it because I don't want him to have to deal with surgery and then chemotherapy or radiation. Not that that is bad enough. No, this is more selfish reason and one I am somewhat reluctant to admit out loud. The problem is Peggy, my wonderful mother. The greatest fear in my life is my father dying before my mother. If you are their child then you would understand.

My mother at best is like being around a perpetual 13 year old. She has to be the center of attention or she will pout and give you the silent treatment (which, honestly, I prefer). My mother also believes that if she is sick then she will get the most attention. Somehow this must be a left over thing from her childhood cause she has been doing this all of my life so why should she give up now. Mom is right now probably trying to figure out if she has prostate cancer and if not how she can get it. Mind you, I could have had a worst mother and I know enough people who do. But still...

If this scenario plays out then all hell will break at 608. I can see my some of my "special" siblings moving in and trying to "take care" of Mom. Most of us are reluctant to see Peggy left alone,with money. If my mother idea of illness is bad then her sense of money is worse. She will give most away to those who promise to pay her back in 30 days and get mad when they don't pay her back. To most of us its a "no-dah" moment. But as many times as she does it she never learns.

She will also buy the dumbest things she sees advertised during her soaps operas breaks, like the snuggle blanket or she will shop at some garage sale and find a "bargain" coffee maker with no heating unit for $20. She can shop the hell out of Payless Shoe store and then get mad when she needs new shoes in two weeks. If you suggest that she shop at Macy's and get decent shoes she will tell you she cannot afford it, never realizing that she spent that amount seven fold by the time she replaces her Bo-go finds.

Also some of my "special" siblings will move in and pilfer the house of all the goods they can find because they hold on to the belief that they deserve something. It always amazes me that some of us feel we are owed something we ourselves didn't work for. Now in the grand scheme of things there isn't much there anyway's, just a  house and maybe a small insurance payoff. We are definitely not the Rockefellers, just one man working mainly and occasionally my mother who only worked late in life. Mind you my mother didn't put much into retirement. There might be some knick-knacks in the attic, but really, we are not talking about much.

So when I called Wo-wa to see what exactly is going on my mother has answered the phone. This is bad. Mom asks why I want to talk to Wo-wa and how come no one asks about her health, after all, she has been dealing with backache for a much longer time. My mother is famous for complaining and rubbing her groin while bent over after getting a cup of morning rock hard coffee (my youngest son, Adam, is still traumatized from this very act after five years). Of course Wo-wa is constantly unavailable or gone, which is amazing seeing as he now only goes to two places if you don't count the bathroom. I cannot believe he is spending this much time at Home Depot.

So all I can do is pray and hope that all is well. If not then I can only hope if things turn crazy, then plan for my trip to 608 and be out before the end of day. Damn.

Lost and Found Hit and Run

It's Sunday. The kind of day when one tends to just bum around town hang out and find the beauty in the city. We did well for the most part. Then day kind of took a weird turn as we were winding down.

Some background:

I used to have an incredible record collection that I cherished until I left home. Somehow I lost most of them and lately have been trying to replace them. Also I thought I was allergic to honey. Come to find out I was just allergic to processed or commercial honey but I can have pure honey.  We needed to get Adam magazines for his trip back to France on Friday. Bob needed to shop for groceries to make his cheesecakes and sweet potato pie. Alexander just wanted to hang out.

At the first stop, I found Loveshine by Con Funk Shun record for $8.32 in a used record store at Pike's Place. Seeing as this is a rarity that has not been in production since early '80's and is only found as an import costing between $30 and $120 and I had been looking for for about six months, this was truly a beautiful find. Hot damn! This was a good day so far.

Second stop, we found a local beekeeper who sold us the most delicious honey ever. I no longer have to double check my honey anymore. She is local and all the honey is pure and there is a overwhelming variety that I can have a different honey every day for six months. Next to the beekeeper, bob found flowers and brought me Tulips (I love fresh flowers). Hot Diggity! So far, so good.

Third stop, Adam took us into a french bakery were we got wonderful fresh and warm pastries right out of the oven. Right on!

Fourth stop, Starbucks headquarters were we discovered they have extended their tea menu with some creative mixed tea. Not bad for a coffee house. Oh yeah!

On our way to the fifth stop, some idiot decided to cross the street against the his light. We almost hit him but we stop right on a dime. So of course this guy decides to hit the driver side window with his hand. What he didn't count on was Bob backing up and me rolling down the window. Now I have a lot of my father's spirit in me. That means when it comes time to fight, its on. So I asked the guy if he was crazy or just a plain asshole. I voted for asshole as he insisted that we were weapons of mass destruction and he states that he could shoot us for trying to run him over. He stated also that he was telling on us and we would hear from him soon. I told him to go right ahead and that I would be looking forward to it. During this exchange Bob was seething and wanting to get a word in edgewise, but could not. Again I am my father's daughter and willing to fight, MS be damned. This exchange lasted about 10 minutes, before Bob got tired and drove off. We get dropped off at the newsstand while Bob goes to look for a parking space. We don't see Bob again for about 45 minutes. I have no proof but I believe he was looking for this man and may have indeed found him. As of now Bob is not talking about it. I am sure I will hear about it 10 years from not. But the day is shot and we are all kinda pissed. Shit!

Last stop, Adam has is magazines and we ran into Whole Foods for more groceries before we came on home. We were all relieved to be in our space and world. Then about an hour after being home it snow again and we realized that we would be snowed in for a couple days again. Goddamnit!

But we ended on a good note: Donovan McNabb and rest of the Eagles kicked the Vikings ass and now Baltimore (really?) is something to watch. Now, I am hopeful about the Superbowl. Yippe!

Happy New Year, Folks!

Woooohhooooo! 2008 is G-O-N-E! Finally! That was one hellva year and I am so glad it's gone. I have cleaned the Condo up brought all my "Good Luck" groceries, put on my best best red underwear and went to the Space Needle and watched the fireworks shoot off in the sky. So this morning I put on some Nancy Wilson, Diana Krall and Shirley Horn, fix dinner and get ready for the Museum of Flight free day. Its going to be a great year. It will be better cause nothing will be as bad as last year and as my mother would say, cause I say so. It will be better cause I cannot think of another reason to not be happy and helpful towards others. I have not made any resolutions except to be a better me. that is all I can do and am looking forward to seeing how all this turns out. You all have one great year! 

Out, Damn Snow, Out!

Ok now I have lived through a lot of crazy things: my parents Friday Night Fights and the make up section that would appear on Sunday afternoons. The many nights of wind shaking the house so much we were either lured to sleep or scared of that Wo-wa's latest "fixed" project was going to finally take us out. I lived in a house with no air conditioning that when it got to 95 degrees we would leave and sit in a bookstore from noon to dusk just to get cool. But to be in a blizzard, in Seattle, before Christmas was just crazy. I live in a new development and everything is sound but this being Seattle I worried that the lights would go out at any minute. That would mean days without heat or cooked food. Damn, I miss my gas stove! The part of the night was knowing that Adam was due in from France that night and Bob had to go out get him from the SeaTac airport. On a regular day with rain and traffic the airport is only 20 minutes away. It took Bob 2 hours. Then we get a call from Adam saying he was rerouted to Spokane. That is 20 minutes away by plane. Shit. As we debated whether Bob should just stay put at the airport and brave the rapids in the morning, Adam calls back to say they were taking off again and would be here in 30 minutes. Once he landed safely we still thought they were staying at the airport, but Bob not one to give up trudged, son, baggage and all, through the storm again and made it home sometime after 2am. That was a full 5 hours after he left to pick up the boy. After which we woke up to snow for the next 4 days. No going outside or driving to the store. The local QFC was out of everything except onions and carrots. This storm prevented all Christmas shopping and cabin fever set in quickly. So as much as I love snow. I would rather have it on my own terms and I pray I never have to see another blizzard again.

Christmas 2008

Christmas 2008 was the best Christmas so far for me. I didn't celebrate with all the hoopla and expectations as previous Christmas'. Instead we did the anti-Christmas thing this year. because we were snowed in and the streets were too slippery to driven in, we did not have the traditional Christmas. There was no decorations, no gifts to exchange, no traditional dinner. No little Charlie Brown tree or Willis Bragg "I-Need-to-make-up-for-all-the-hell-I-caused-this-year" presents either. The only thing that resembled a cartoon Christmas at all was the snow that refused to stop. So instead we cooked and watched a lot of football. Then we slept and got up and ate. That was it. No obligingly gifts were sent to Sacramento. The mail delivery was not out and about either. I did not have to shop for the old people who have everything, needed nothing but wanted everything. I did not even send those year end greeting cards. We just allowed things to be.  Therefore I was not overwhelmed or worried about anyone not liking my gifts. Perfect. Now if only I can conjure up a snow storm on Mother's Day.......