People assume that love is defined by what others say it is. That love is whatever romantic thing is happening in the movies or on TV. Worse some love song sung by some sappy person singing about unrequited love. Harlequin romance book on the grocery store counter. My parents never really showed us what or how to love another person. Not even each other. It was just the thought that we were family that was all we needed to know. Yet when some of my siblings are out there doing crazy things, such as getting high and crying in the front yard begging to be let in I wonder is it love that keeps him out or love that won’t let him in? I am confused. My mother announced for the umpteenth time that she would have never been with my father if she wasn’t drunk. Great. Was is love that made me a drunken baby? What of those three brothers before and two sisters after me? Were we all drunken babies? I wonder. More to the point how is it that I still have a thing for Bob? We celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary last Thursday. After all these years I still like this dude. Even through he can be all manly sometimes and “rule” over his “kingdom”, I am still here. Amazing. I never really thought I would be with, let alone friends, with anyone this long. But he is my oldest friend. And that is what it is about. We cannot define it by some standard in some book or religious thought. I do not bow down to Bob (or anyone) nor does he bow down to me. We cannot go by what my folks say or his folks think. Yeah, we bicker sometimes, like when he can’t find me and I don’t want to be found (stop chasing me!) or I am not feeling well but still want to run around (I’m scared to be lazy). I know that sometimes, I am hard to live with especially when my inner Willis or Peggy comes through, but, Bob is still here. Amazing in and of itself, cause I would have left my ass a long time ago. But we share our world everyday inside and out, parenting, playing, lounging, running around, talking politics and literature and just being plain silly because we want to. Not because of anything else. Not because someone thinks we should either. And although our wedding date is never celebrated and hardly remembered (unlike our 1st date, which is week long celebration) it deserves to be mentioned. So for the non-date where I almost made it to Molly Moons ice cream and Whole Foods but ended up driving through downtown following the bus Bob rides home every night. “Just in case you was wondering where I catch the bus, dear”. I wasn’t. I should mention here that along with carnies, I am really don’t care about bus people or their rides. So of course his joy over knowing where his bus stops and where the bus markers were located was purely unappreciated by me. We ended up at Marie Callender’s. Hurray for pie! We were able to come back home, have some tea, had a slice of pie and fall to sleep on the couch. I really do like this guy. I have to say that although we didn’t celebrate the traditional way with flowers, dinner and gifts, I was glad that we had some time to just to be. Besides the next day he did treat me to Costco food court. :) I am such a cheap date! So…Thanks Honey, for the last 21 years. But for our other anniversary I want dinner! I still diggin’ you, like old soul record!
