It’s funny how time passes so quickly. One day you’re here then the next, your there. Just today, I put something in the microwave then proceeded to look for my slippers under the chair less than five feet away. By the time I bent down to grab said slippers my thirty seconds were up and the microwave beeped three reminders that scone was hot and ready.
Today is Kenny’s Birthday, my brother who died 23 years ago. He would have been 51. Seems time flies so slowly until you look up and things change so swiftly that 23 years are gone and children are grown and Kenny is still missed. When he died I lost my big brother and a friend. Mostly I lost my favorite guru.
My older siblings will have a totally different view and memories of Kenny than I do, but that is the thing. I have my relationship with Kenny and they have theirs. For me, he was my big brother who read to me and Brother Crackhead Preacher at night. He taught us our ABCs and how to count. I grew to love Dr. Seuss because Kenny read it to us, over and over again. He taught us how to climb trees, ride bikes and roller skate.
It was Kenny who convinced Brother Crackhead Preacher & I to jump from the roof of the front yard to the front porch while we were on restriction. Unluckily, Mom was in the front yard talking to the neighbors and caught us before we had a chance to follow completely though. He did bring us PB&J’s after we got our whooping and sent back upstairs for another day. I think he laughed at us too.
He was the one who convinced Mom to allow me to attend my eight grade school dance with the promise that he would be my chaperone and stay the whole time. Of course he lied and left me. That event led to me dancing with my then crush, Jose Hugo Ruiz, and getting a great first kiss. I broke up with Jose Hugo Ruiz the next day because he became annoying, but still memorable.
Kenny was the one Mom assigned to explain birds and bees to me. He was 15 and I was 10. When my monthly cycle came along it was Kenny who gave me Tylenol and heating pad when he found me on bathroom floor bent with pain.
He was the first person I told I was pregnant the first time, even before I told Bob. He was naturally worried about me being young but promised he would be there for me. And he was. He would come all the way to Davis from Sacramento to pick up Alexander, even when he was sick.
I once went to see him in hospital with Alexander to tell him about baby number two and somehow we got to talking about baby names and he came up with Adam Jordan. It totally worked out that Adam is a boy and Bob agreed even if I was not fond of it.
I didn’t know his every thought or his feelings. Those things I never really ever thought about. I do know that he was my big brother. I miss him.
You were a souped-up car in our rent-a-go-cart town and I miss you, big brother.
