Confessions

Confession is a crazy thing. All the Spiritual guides and folks who think they know things say so. Confession is good for the soul. Go ahead tell someone of your evil doings and you should be cleansed and feel relieved and start having a great life. So your once raggedy life is now made perfect by your willingness to confess that you lied about whatever, stole whatever, cheated with whoever, gossiped, played on, dropped and broke that vase, drank too much or just plain did something at left another human being jacked up. Yep, somewhere is documented that confession clears the air. It must be true cause I watched a zillion after school specials and Lifetime Movies, complete tearjerkers, where the offender keeps messing up for an 40 minutes and in the last five minutes confesses and then roses start growing at their feet. I mean real ass roses!! Grass around them starts growing all green like those Tru Green Commercials. If you pass one of those houses with the perfect lawn you can bet that someone there confessed to the victim of the untruth and now that all is forgiven everyone is happy, thin and probably rich also. Somehow the victim must accept that the confession was real and honest and that the offender will never do that uncouth thing again.

So now I must confess: I believe there somethings I really am tired of hearing.

There seems to be way too many T.M.I.'s happening right in popular culture that really I could just live without ever knowing. So here is my list in no particular order:

What your doing via Twitter or Facebook - a waste for anyone who is actually doing something. I mean I could careless about what your doing right now or ever. Especially if I am not involved.

Spectacular video from this Kiely Williams. I rather not know what you did last night or even six years ago. I would of been just fine knowing nothing about you but now that you brought yourself attention by your unnecessary confession I must go ahead and turn the channel and ignore you until you disappear from all my favorite blogs. This goes for most of the crap passing as pop/hip-hop/R&B music today.

How much weight you loss on your latest diet. Really. I am very happy with my round self. There is no need to tell me about your how you think you controlled your weight by some latest fad that you settled on. If you are proud about it great. None of that will convince me that losing weight myself is going to cure me of my MS or make you a better person. I know this...I am still healthier than you just by ignoring your silly idea of what makes me happy.

What those selfish Tea Party people are protesting today.

Why you decided to conk your hair. I have been wearing my hair naturally curly, mostly unruly with no grease involved for the last 15 years. Mostly to the disappointment of my parents who prefer straight as board hair that swings, I chose to brais mine up or a big fro. But more sistahs come up to me and feel the need to tell me why they chose their hairs style, as if, I would look down on them for not being whatever they think they are not. In reality I chose mine cause I rather be doing other things than sitting in a hair shop for hours just for a wash & flat iron. Also my head is too big to not have big hair.

Where you put your wang. Be it my husband, father, brother, son, nephew or friend. I don't want to know. If you happen to be following the man made rule of no showing your wang while involved then, at least, make sure you follow up with some after cheatin' cleanin'. Stick your erect wang in a bottle of beach, splash it around and let it soak until your wang is two colors lighter. IIt will probably burn, but remember that all things done in the dark hurt in the end.

Who you sleep with. As long as the parties involved are over 16, not a animal and agreed to the deed then do it. Ain't know need to tell the world about yourself. If your single and you have two or three...ok, do your thing, but keep it to yourself. A lady and some men actually know how to be discrete. Besides all that sharing is just showing off at some point.

How high anyone is currently or ever. Weather your drug of choice is wine, beer, liquor, shroons, peyote, or weed there is no need to talk about it. Walk over to some like minded people and do your thing. Leave the rest of us alone.

What kind of underwear anyone wears. As long as I know mine I am ok with that. Stop running around showing your thongs by bending over, saggin', wearing blue or printed undies under white pants and wearing a short dress on a windy days. No one cares really and if they do then they are just being nasty.

My point is that confession really is just a selfish act. It only shows that you only care about your feelings and if you really care about the person standing next to you, be it a spouse or stranger then you wouldn’t of lied in the first place. Confession only leaves the victim with more hurt feelings and a desire to get away as fast as they can. So I say if you must confess please do so only to your Spiritual guide or go talk to the rocks.